A Journey: Rooted in Traditions Yet Beyond Boundaries

At 53, saying that age is just a number feels both fitting and fleeting!
As I stand on this threshold, the years behind me seem like a blur—moments that slipped through my fingers, almost imperceptibly. Ahead of me, a towering mountain of dreams beckons, daring me to climb.
Mine is an ordinary tale of an ordinary woman living an extraordinarily ordinary life—if that makes any sense!

For the last 33 years, my world has revolved around my family, where my husband and children were the center of my universe, and our home, the heart of my existence. I was a devoted (read: helicopter) mom, a loving (read: love-struck) wife, a caring (that I was) daughter-in-law, and an enterprising homemaker—let's face it, running a household efficiently is no less than managing a flourishing enterprise! Yet, deep down, I knew I wasn’t content to be solely defined by these roles.

Along the way, I discovered creative outlets in helping my children with their projects—earning gold stars, crafting their poems, writing declamation and debate speeches, and preparing them for inter- and intra-school competitions. I would wait with bated breath for the accolades and applause they received, as their successes echoed my small triumphs.
My life was a symphony of adding personal touches to the nooks and corners of our home, orchestrating meticulously planned themed dinners, and finding joy in these simple pleasures.

Yet, woven into this tapestry of family and home was another thread, barely noticeable but deeply significant—a sixteen-year-long spiritual journey. During this time, I explored and mastered various spiritual modalities, excelling in some, though I never fully recognized or appreciated my own abilities.

I had accepted life as it was until recently when a noticeable shift occurred within me. I began to focus inward, making my dreams and passions the new axis of my life. This change was laced with shadows of guilt. As I prioritized my aspirations, guilt seeped into every corner of my existence. Exotic home-cooked delicacies were replaced by mundane dishes, and my round-the-clock availability gave way to the all-too-familiar “I’m busy.” Subtle comments and unspoken disapproval from family and friends became a palpable undercurrent.

Confronting this reality was challenging. The guilt of stepping away from familiar roles and the silent judgment from loved ones weighed heavily on my heart. It felt as though I was navigating a minefield of emotions, each step triggering a pang of self-reproach. Yet, amidst this turmoil, I was resolute about my path. Life had presented me with a rare opportunity to pursue what truly ignited my spirit. I chose to seize it. After all, I had always encouraged my children to chase their dreams with relentless passion. How could I not follow the very advice I had so fervently emphasized?

They say spirituality isn’t a path you choose; rather, it chooses you. This calling transcends a single lifetime, manifesting as the culmination of accumulated Prarabdh—the fruits of actions from countless lives. The soul’s journey through myriad incarnations ultimately leads to a moment when the spiritual path becomes inevitable, as though destiny itself guides you toward it. Yet, there is always a powerful catalyst that propels one into this sacred journey.

For me, that catalyst appeared in 2001, triggered by a profound personal crisis. It was a time of great severity that compelled me to seek something greater, something beyond the physical realm.
But in truth, my spiritual journey began long before the trials that would later define it. It had started from the very moment I was conceived in the womb of life. The inception of life itself is so wondrous and miraculous that it leaves no doubt in my mind: we are all spiritual beings, temporarily housed in a physical shell.

In 2001, I was initiated into Reiki, marking the beginning of my path as a healer and Lightworker. This was not merely a pursuit but a destiny unfolding, as I discovered I was among the chosen few meant to walk this spiritual path.
My journey led me through various spiritual disciplines, each one drawing me closer to the mysteries of existence.
As I delved deeper, I became a Reiki Grandmaster, a Melchizedek Symbols Teacher, a Magnified Healer & Master, a Third Light Phase Healer, a Hypnotherapist, a Certified Past Life Regression Practitioner, a Rune reader, a Tarot reader, a Numerologist, a Crystal Therapist, a Maha Vastu Expert, and even explored Shamanism.

With each step, I inched closer to unravelling life’s myriad mysteries, marvelling at the insights and revelations that accompanied each discovery. Nothing in life brings me more peace and happiness than my tryst with these esoteric sciences, except perhaps my time amidst nature, interacting with my beloved greens.
My spiritual quest not only deepened my understanding of the universe but has also strengthened my connection with the Earth, reminding me of the profound unity between the physical and the spiritual.

In 2015, another significant shift occurred. We moved to our current home, and my life took a 180-degree turn. Until then, I had been an introvert, content within my world of books, my computer, various spiritual courses I was learning and practising, and of course, taking care of my home and kids. But with my daughter leaving for the Narsee Monjee School of Economics in Mumbai and my son already studying at Mayo College, Ajmer, the Empty Nest Syndrome hit me hard. This year marked a new chapter in my life.

In the void left by my children, I found myself stepping out of my comfort zone, and suddenly, life felt like one big party. My mystical journey took a back seat, overshadowed by an unexpectedly mismatched circle of friends I had befriended.
Yet, while my spirituality dimmed, my creative pursuits flourished, especially during and after COVID.
I developed my own website, began writing vigorously on my site and Medium, and even ventured into painting, producing 10–15 pieces in a single creative burst.

But spirituality much like adversity has a way of knocking at your door when you least expect it. It’s said that when you begin walking the path of spirituality, the universe often tests you by pushing you down to your lowest point, making it seem nearly impossible to find your way back. I never anticipated facing another blow after 2001. Yet, life dealt me one, far more devastating than before, plunging me into a deep depression with no light at the end of the tunnel. Amidst this darkness, I uncovered a resilience within myself that I never knew existed.

One memory that stands out, in particular, is the eight months I spent bedridden, unable to walk even to the restroom or climb stairs due to a severe condition in both knees—chondromalacia patella, grade IV in the left knee and grade III in the right, along with a minuscule tear and a cyst. Despite consulting top orthopaedists in Delhi, who recommended surgeries with uncertain outcomes, I relied on sheer willpower to reclaim my mobility.
Life has a way of testing me at every turn, but I’ve learned to turn every challenge into a stepping stone.

Reflecting on the present, I realize that despite everything, I needed to find a way out of depression without relying on medication or therapy (though I don’t advocate this approach—seeking help is important when needed). My journey continued, blending resilience and self-discovery as I navigated the unconventional path life had set before me. The spiritual path isn’t something you choose; it finds you, often through the trials that challenge your very essence.

Last year, on my birthday, I began reading the Shiv Mahapuran and took over a year to finish it. Although much of it was beyond my immediate grasp, the sections I did understand began to reshape my approach to worship. I attribute my deeper journey into sadhana to this profound text—not just through reading, but by striving to absorb it with utmost devotion.

In April 2024, I installed an app curated by Om Swamiji and began my sadhana practice with Nav Durga Sadhna during Navratri. Instantly, I felt a deep connection, as if I had found my true calling. Since then, there has been no turning back.
In May, I attended my first Sadhana Shivir at Sri Badrika Ashram in Sirmaur for Uchhisht Ganpati sadhana, and I continued this practice diligently even after returning.
In June, I participated in their second camp focused on Gayatri Sadhana. Both experiences were deeply transformative, leading me to a 24-day spiritual sojourn in the Himalayas.

Throughout this journey, I faced ridicule, mockery, and discouragement from family, friends, and relatives who nudged me to return to a conventionally 'normal' life. They struggled to respect my commitment or understand its depth, often failing to see that some rewards transcend financial gains and hold profound significance.

In the midst of this, I found myself increasingly uncomfortable in social gatherings and casual conversations, unable to fully articulate the transformation I was undergoing. At home, subtle hints of disapproval were turning to misgivings about my shifted priorities.

Despite this, I am deeply grateful for the unwavering support of my family. Their encouragement and understanding were pivotal, particularly during the 24-day solitude in the Himalayas for my Sadhana.
Managing a household without me was no small feat. My husband and son had to balance their demanding work schedules, leaving early in the morning and returning late at night, all while handling day-to-day activities and ensuring that everything ran smoothly in my absence. Their support and adaptability were crucial in making my journey possible.
I am deeply indebted to my entire family for their role in this transformative phase of my life.

Amidst all this, I decided to launch a groundbreaking course on Rudrabhishek. This initiative aimed to demystify the ritual, traditionally performed solely by pundits, and empower individuals to undertake it themselves. I devoted countless hours, day and night, to meticulously developing the course material, striving to simplify this sacred process for everyone.

A profound moment of affirmation came when Mother Divine appeared to me in a dream, revealing that nine students would enroll in the course. Remarkably, this vision came to fruition. This confirmation reinforced my belief that nothing happens by chance; everything unfolds with purpose, even if we may not always understand it immediately.

Just as I was halfway through preparing for the course, life threw another curveball. An unexpected trip disrupted my plans, leaving my work in limbo. The day before my departure, my mother informed me of my father’s deteriorating health—a stark reminder of the fleeting nature of time with our loved ones.

I had scheduled the class for August 9th and had to leave on August 4th.
On August 3rd, I received the distressing news about my father's condition. I returned late on August 6th to find that my entire house staff had left. Instead of focusing on my father, I found myself plunged into a whirlwind of cleaning, mopping, cooking, and laundry. With over half of the coursework still unfinished, I had to choose to address these mundane chores over my ongoing commitments.

My family didn’t seem to take my class seriously, leaving me uncertain about how I would manage the situation. A few close ones even suggested postponing the date, but given that August 9th was revealed to me by Mother Divine, I was determined to stick to it.

Despite the myriad hurdles, I proceeded with the class as planned. Seven out of the nine enrolled students attended, and their response was overwhelmingly positive. In that moment, I realized that not only had I navigated the obstacles, but I had also laid the foundation for something truly meaningful. This was just the beginning!

Even now, many don’t understand me. When I refuse a drink, skip social gatherings, or avoid trivial conversations, I often face jokes and whispers. Honestly, it no longer bothers me.

Life holds deeper, more meaningful aspects that require lifetimes of wisdom to fully grasp. Engage with me on these, and I’ll gladly converse. I’ve moved beyond guilt—whether it’s simpler meals, a house that receives less attention, or health issues that sometimes take a backseat (though I need to address that), I’ve made peace with these changes.

My journey might seem obscure to some, but I navigate through guilt and societal expectations with resilience. It’s not about making others understand my passion but about honouring my own path and ideals.

This journey is more than a personal quest; it’s a testament to the belief that pursuing one’s true path reshapes not only our own life but also the lives we touch. To live with purpose is to live meaningfully, ensuring that our existence resonates beyond simply passing through the motions. In the end, what truly matters is whether we discovered our ikigai, our raison d'être, lived it or merely wheeled through life without leaving a mark.